dryadgrl: (Default)
So, Tomorrow will be 2 months since thyroid meds. How is it?

I feel better.
My emotions don't get the best of me.
The remnants of anxiety are gone. Not that I never get anxious, but it's clear to me that the anxiety was food related and not getting enough nutrients.
I have a ton more energy.
I went from sleeping 12 hours a night to about 8 hours a night.
I have made many things
I have actually worked on labels for all the things.
I am doing healing work again.
I am formalizing my curriculum
I am helping. I have energy for really helping other people.
Food is way easier. I can eat more variety of things.
I worry less about making sure I get enough (on so many levels).
I eat when I'm hungry. I actually get hungry every day, at least 3 times a day, usually 4.
Right on schedule.
Did I mention I get hungry every day?
I am able to make choices about food before I'm starving; I'm rarely starving. For anything.
I feel loved and appreciated and valued.
Even when there is stress, I'm able to bounce back from it or move forward. I worry, but not overly.
I get shit done!
I'm better with Kiddo and his wanting my attention. We have been working on more projects together.

I am still having some adrenal symptoms, but they are manageable and not actually that bad unless I skip the Cortrex. I've started taking eleuthero tincture as well. And to help with sleep sometimes I'm taking a Rescue Remedy sleep aid. Homeopathic, but it worked like a charm at the workshop. It reset my internal clock to wake up at about dawn.

I'm incredibly grateful for the medication. I am less and less angry that I didn't get it sooner.
dryadgrl: (Default)
My two favorite books on thyroid stuff:

Why Do I Still Have Thyroid Symptoms? When My Lab Tests Are Normal: A Revolutionary Breakthrough In Understanding Hashimoto's Disease and Hypothyroidism

Super useful and very insightful about all manner of stuff. Written by a doctor who takes these patients and has a lot of experience in solving complex thyroid cases.

And

Stop the thyroid madness. Written by a patient advocate. I've been really enjoying it. I have been learning a lot about adrenal fatigue symptoms and how to care for myself in that way.

Also there's a website: http://www.stopthethyroidmadness.com
dryadgrl: (Default)
So we're nearing a month of this experiment and on the whole it's been an amazing success.

I have a lot more energy. i can get things done.
I don't have to worry so much about food. My body is not having cravings. I'm not eating between meals, but I am hungry, what seems like appropriately (as in, like other people seem to be hungry). I know a little in advance and so I can make food for myself.

Used to be when I was working at home I'd eat a bunch of times a day. Some because it was there. Usually good stuff, but food was a huge focus of my life. What I can eat, what I can't eat, do I have food, can I cook food. But with more energy, the whole struggle is just much less. I have energy to cook food. So I cook it. I know I'm going to be hungry so I can rely on my body to let me know when to cook. Food anxiety pretty nearly gone.

I do still have to figure out how to deal with food when I'm out so that I don't fall off the wagon when I travel. But until this week I have categorically refused to consider that.

Also I was down with anemia yesterday. It happened super fast. Within abut an hour I could hardly walk and it was hard to breathe and I was freezing. Thankfully I wasn't alone and my friend C got me more meds and I took them and went to bed with a heating pad. 7 hours later I was siting up, having processed the meds and feeling actually ok. Usually I'm out for three days minimum when this happens.

It also seems that iodine might be too intense for me right now. If I take it it enhances the adrenal fatigue symptoms. Recently those have been: waking with racing thoughts in the middle of the night, energy picking up after 6pm and hard to get to sleep, mid afternoon exhaustion. To deal with the adrenal fatigue I started staking Thorne's Cortex. I'm going to check in with my doc about it this week. But it seems to be working.

I know the medication is also working because as of this week I'm down to the smallest bra that I own which is two cup sizes and one band size smaller than what I wore 6 weeks ago. Nothing else has changed in terms of clothes sizes. But the last time I worked super hard at losing weight, this is exactly the way it happened. My bust gets smaller first. Then it took months and required an hour of swimming a day. Now I'm just doing what I'm doing and worrying less.

So there it is, I guess.

Please don't congratulate me on all of this. I am not sure how I feel about it, to be honest. I mean I am excited that I am losing weight, but weight is so connected to society's values around self worth of women that I just don't want to have other people's validation of that system. You can validate that I feel healthier, but I don't want any, "Have you lost weight? You look really good!" I know I'll have to deal with it in other places, I just don't know what to say.

I know people mean well. And fuck them, actually. Either they like me at whatever size I am or not. And I don't want to deal with people's shit about body image. I have a lot to sort through. I am dealing with a lot of internal stuff about my fear around the possibility of substantial weight change. I want it because it would be healthy for me (50 lbs ago I felt super healthy which is still "morbidly obese" so I don't want others to get any funny ideas).

But first I have no idea what's going to happen. Second, it's none of your business. Yes, even though I blog about it. It's pretty painful to be dealing with and all the societal expectations just get in the way.

Anyway, it hurts. And I need to be with myself before I'm with other people about my body.Many bodies aren't political, but mine is. And I really want that to not be the case.
dryadgrl: (Default)
I've already eaten breakfast,
showered
gone for a half hour walk in the hills
meditate for 10 minutes
drove half an hour
cried 3 times
posted to facebook

Courtesy of Armour thyroid medication. It's a fucking new world. If my days were like this all the time, I could take over the world!
dryadgrl: (Default)
Tonight I finally was able to discharge some of the intense depression and do something else. I went for a walk on my own up in the hills. I haven't been able to get myself outside for more than a walk to the car in a long time.

So I walked. And I felt better. I've been cooking for myself and mostly cleaning up the cooking. I managed to eat well all day the last 3 days and not die. I'm still not brave enough to do the all day fruit day or the soup day on the cleanse. I'm totally terrified that I'll get sick.

I can walk easily today for about 20 minutes before the pain hit and 5 more minutes before I had to sit down. But that's a huge improvement over Saturday when I barely made it to the car. I still have some pain, but it's normal, every day pain for me rather than the screeching halt pain. I had most of a year at least with almost no pain. I want to go back to that.

I signed up for the thyroid community on LJ, but it's very allopathic medicine focused. Which makes me sad. Not because that's what people want, but because so far there's no one that's said that they've even tried any other way. I know that I might have to do it that way, but I want to know what all the options are and what is and isn't effective. What I'm doing now has worked extraordinarily well all things considered.

I guess I want credit for all that work. And I don't want to get addicted to the pharma drugs. My research has said that taking t4 pharma meds means that your body will never increase t4 production basically sticking you with the meds forever. I don't know that it has to be that way. We've done something that's causing massive numbers of people to have these disorders and I think there should be a way back to health. Not just to addiction and dependence. Even if that dependence is on things that make us feel well.

It's like a trap as far as I can tell. For short-term, it makes sense - take something that helps you feel better so that you can make better decisions. Long term there has to be a solution. Just like to anti-depressants. Your lifestyle has to change, we have to stop working so many hours and start working together to be well and whole in relationship and community.

Anyway, I finally got some shit done and started the ball moving on feeling better. I'm hoping by next week I'll feel a lot better. All good wishes and good vibes welcome.
dryadgrl: (Default)
I started new thyroid meds about 1.5 weeks ago. It took a couple of days, but I woke up feeling a lot better on Saturday and it's been mostly an upward trend.

Until today.

I have more energy, am doing more things, applying for more work, sleeping less, getting some shit done.

But the yesterday and today I'm noticing mood stuff. Today my mood has been ALL over the place. I felt amazing last night after a HAI mini workshop that I was on team for. But today in the middle of talking to the boyfriend I just started melting down, apathy, overwhelm, pain, sadness, .... crash.

I feel like I need to be getting things done, the house is a mess, I need work, I'm .... melting. So I took myself out to lunch on the way to poll worker training.

Yesterday my pants fit a little different than they have been so I'm wondering if this is the beginning of body shifting things for reals (which I'm totally available for) and I wonder if what's happening is revisiting things as my body changes. I don't know that for sure, but in meditation today, that's the message that I received.

I have another appointment on Tuesday and we'll change things up again, I'm sure.

At least I'm not sleeping three hundred hours a day or totally crashed out. In fact I'm writing from a coffee shop where I can focus and get things done away from Kiddo. Hopefully those things will include something other than the Book of Face and journaling.
dryadgrl: (Default)
As of Thursday 4/26/12, we re-adjusted meds. So now I'm taking something that is very similar to a pharma grade thyroid med. It's a lot stronger than what I was taking before. A lot.

Immediately my appetite went waaaaay up and my energy started to rise too. It took until Saturday after an even nap to feel it.

The down side is that I'm higher strung than I've been. So I'm way more active and tolerating Kiddo's mood a lot less. This seems to be the trade off. I think this is where the adrenal stress comes in. I'm much more short with him about stuff.

Maybe it's the pain. I'm still having back pain. Now it's upper back and lower back, and that makes me short with people. But I now have the energy to move - lower back pain for me that is not kidney issues is helped with walking.

One of the things that I can do is to listen to my body and know how much of a pill to take. I upped my dosage of the new thyroid med (it's by Biotics and it's called GTA somethingorother). I picked up the pill bottle and it's like it pulls at me and when I have the right number in my hand, the pull is satisfied.

I chalk this up to doing so much applied kinesiology and NAET that my body is used to tell me dosages. I wonder if this happens to other people. I can do it with food too if I'm listening. I pick it up and things happen, like I'll get slightly nauseated if it's bad or my breathing will be very clear and strong if it's good.

My healer also added a supplement called Chezyn which is minerals to support iron absorption and anemia. She did some research about anemia and found something that would help. Because no matter how much iron I take, it hasn't fixed the problem - either the symptoms or the underlying issue. So this one has things in it like zinc and copper and enzymes that will help me change the way I metabolize iron.

We also did some dosage finding AK. So for the Hemevite and iron, tracking those along with my cycle so that they increase the week before I bleed is our current plan. This is what i've tried to do before, but the dosage is still less than I need. I seem to need 4 times the regular dosage during menses and the week before. That's a huge difference. I typically doubled it. Apparently I need to quadruple it. That's good to know.

By the way the down side for me about the thyroid meds working is that I need to eat, like absolutely must have food, no less than every 4 hours. And I wake up starving. It doesn't sound terrible, but for someone who's very used to not eating for 8+ hours, it's really hard. It's gotten easier over time. But last week and the week before as the Thyroxal stopped working (or wasn't working enough or...) my appetite went away. That's been my state of being for more than a decade so when it came back over the weekend, it took me by surprise.

I can't just "have a snack" every few hours, I need to sit down in front of food and eat a meal. At least 4 times a day. Granted those meals are half the size or less than what I would eat at other, non-working thyroid times. But they are not optional. I get headaches when I don't eat enough and my belly aches and my throat gets hungry and my brain stops working.

I think it's time to explore some recipes so that I have a wider repertoire again.

Oh and I passed the NAET for iron even though I was bleeding the second time through. So hopefully this next month my body will be able to take in enough iron to keep me from being in bed for a week. We'd like that.
dryadgrl: (Default)
Saturday will be 8 weeks of the new regimen. I am taking a kind of break from it today and tomorrow because of the NAET treatment.

I'm sleeping about 9-10 hours a night.

I am slowing having more motivation. I did several difficult things today that were about clearing out old energy from relationships that I have allowed to sit and stagnate (meaning I haven't spoken my truth so I've done the Avoidance Dance). So far that has gone well.

The last couple of days there has been a lot of sweets in the house and with cake on the counter I seem to walk by and have a bit. It's really clear that if I'm going to keep sweets in the house that they cannot sit on the counters or they will be my first line of defense against hunger.

I can have good food habits, I just need to make sure those are the accessible things.

I've decided it's ok to eat frozen food and so my freezer has been full of things that I can eat that are at least marginally good for me (asparagus risotto, stir fry veggies, chicken pot pie), that I can just take out and cook in a few minutes and shove in my face when my blood sugar is crashing. This is a successful strategy.

I'm eating eggs for breakfast nearly every day and given up yogurt for breakfast. It's not bad for me exactly, I ass nuts and stuff to it, but it's sweetened and the more I just stay away from sugar all together, the better off I am.

Now the issue isn't so much mood, though I notice I still get grumpy on too much sugar, it's that I can feel it in my body. It makes my tummy unhappy and can make me feel light headed. Not overwhelming, but subtle. And what I know is if I don't stop when I feel that I will feel worse.

The fact that I'm feeling into sublet around food is huge. I still want to add lots more veggies, but eating 4 times a day has been the goal and I'm getting there. It happens often, but not everyday and I need to eat first thing in the morning and nor more than an hour before sleeping so that I don't crash out in the night.

And the supplement that I have been taking for that is working really well. Someday ever I could occasionally go 4 hours without eating and not want to throw up. I am still using chocolate milk sometimes. (Have I talked about that? I have 2 foods that I can eat when I'm so lightheaded and sick that I can't eat real food: yogurt and chocolate milk. My body won't accept much else. Interestingly enough they are both liquid and contain protein and sugar, so not terrible choices. Liquid means immediately digestible and the other stuff is what what I should be eating anyway.)

I know I'm not tracking all that often, but I'm talking about it and that's a good thing.
dryadgrl: (Default)
So I have to eat lots of protein and lots of veggies. I've been totally craving chard! I have pretty much no craving for ice-cream and sweets and little tolerance for it. It just doesn't make me feel good.

I need a lot more water than I was drinking before and it's not optional.

I have to get enough sleep or my body falls asleep doing other things (not driving fortunately, but reading or watching teeve or resting or meditating).

A friend recently said it's like I'm a very chill low-key version of myself. What she imagines I'm like when I'm stoned.

I like the idea of being pretty chill about the world. It does sometimes feel like being on a light sedative.

I think that's because my adrenals are calmed down and things like serotonin and DLPA is way up because my body is actually absorbing the meds. So I am actually more chill. That's happening because my metabolism is finally starting to work! woo-fucking-hoo!
dryadgrl: (Default)
I've been looking for a hat for park days for, well since we started homeschooling nearly 2 years ago. Yesterday I think I found one.

It's straw, very small blue and white stripes and a bit floppy. It's lovely and makes me want to go to a garden party.

Since getting rid of so much stuff, I've been finding that the things that I do want to buy are the right things, one at a time.

This might sounds weird, but it feels like it's part of the healing process. I did not buy the other hat which was pretty and but I didn't know what I'd wear it with. It was wool (which I'd vastly prefer in many ways) and looks very 1940's and had a brim that turned up on one side and a flower on the other. So. Cute. But when will I wear it?

It used to be that I'd buy things that i liked or take home things I liked whether they'd work in my life or not. But that seems to have slowed if not stopped all together. I don't know if that's discernment or just again the ability to hold things and ideas and have my own limits and boundaries.

But I like my hat.
dryadgrl: (Default)
Ok so I'm taking my medication every day and I'm even managing to get in some of the ones that I am supposed to take between meals.

I'm sleeping a lot again. I think it's pretty easy to tip this upside down if I'm not careful. And by this I mean my life and energy are totally dependent on getting enough of the right food and getting enough rest and exercise. So I'm averaging about 12-15 hours a sleep a day again if I don't sleep at least 10 on my own consistently.

But here a more interesting thing: I have to deal with the emotions and restlessness that come up when I'm not eating.

What I mean is that I'm craving food less and really checking in before I eat anything. I've tried to do this for years with only marginal success. It's clear to me now that this problem is biological. I didn't have the signals necessary to tell me what to do and thus I could eat when I was starving or in upset with some consequences, but mostly I haven't know what the right thing to do is.

Now I stop when I'm not hungry and food is actually unappealing unless I'm hungry. So right now I'm bored and anxious because I have things to do that I haven't done, but I really don't want to do them. I feel like I need a day off and deserve a day to myself and so I'm in resistance to doing these chores (namely cleaning my room and doing the dishes). I've also told my son to empty the dishwasher and I don't want to empty it for him - again.

He's pretty good at chores if I tell him what to do and when to do it by and sometimes provide incentive if it's extraordinary (like laundry before laundry day or if i"m traveling and he's not). In the past I would just grab some chocolate, or a bite of something and the effect was that it would shove the emotion down for a time.

Sometimes I would just eat too much and then be exhausted (because I crashed my blood sugar) or too full to move. But it also seemed out of my control. I wouldn't realize that I was doing it until it was too late or done. And because of that I had a lot of shame about it.

But as it's changed/changing, I'm realizing that this is not about me - as in not something I can actually control with emotions or ideas or "will power." And it doesn't make me a bad person. Willpower is an idea that dieters talk about a lot an is pretty much entirely a myth as far as I can tell.

Most diests fail (over 90% is the statistic) and so all of the chatter around that is just crap. Additionally if you want to get something done you must have goals, feedback and support or most of those don't happen (though they are more likely to happen if you write them down). So again, in my head I know that will power is crap, but it's so ingrained into culture and my subconscious that it has been a whip that I use to beat myself with for a long time.

I knew about it not making me a bad person in theory. But it felt terrible (and I assume that it will happen again from time to time when I go off or forget meds and so on, I can hope it won't, but I've not suddenly become perfect). It feel physically terrible to eat too much and it feels worse when you realize that you're eating because you're unhappy or depressed and feels worse yet when you realize it halfway through and can't stop.

And by can't stop I mean I've watched myself from the outside and thought things like, "I'm not really hungry, I don't know why I'm doing this." Or "I don't really need this." Or thought nothing in the moment at all about the food just gave in to the upset and overwhelm and found myself eating food or sick later. About a year ago or so I had some thoughts that were, "If I do this I'll have the space I need to rest." And that lead to this stuff lessening.

It was at it's worst when I was badly depressed a few years ago, but only slowed as I have gotten better - until the last few weeks. Now my body's reacting to sugary foods when I touch them or when I look at them and I'm able to process that response and do something else. Today it's started (I don't know if it's true that this is the beginning) to help me realize how I am feeling when I'm not hungry or eating.

It's really uncomfortable to talk about this. Most of the time I've felt like I've done my best to eat well, learn about foods and focus on eating well. But I have been really unsuccessful in some ways.

Oddly knowing that it's not my fault, that it's the hypothyroidism and not something wrong with my humanity, has given me great strength to work at this problem and to keep focused on what I can do. I'm sure it's the drugs on that count too and the work I've done on coming out of depression and anxiety in other ways. One system effects all the other ones and i couldn't be doing this work if I hadn't done that work. These things build on each other.

Ok, food.

The other day I made bacon and leeks and onions in a stir fry and couldn't eat it. Yesterday, I had smoked salmon and couldn't finish it - I think that I probably can't really eat smoked things, at least for a while. I don't know why, but that's the connection my brain made and I'm finding that these intuitive connections are accurate. I never liked bell peppers and it turns out that I'm allergic to them for example. But I haven't been trusting my body about that sort of thing.

Also I seem to need to eat the way that I was eating while on the yeast-free diet. My body is craving meat and vegetables, lots of veggies. But cooked, not raw, with some exceptions (like cucumbers, I seem to be craving raw cucumbers a lot lately).
dryadgrl: (Default)
I am very anemic. Very, very, very. She double my daily dose of liquid iron supplement for the foreseeable future.

I was curious about why not iodine and what I get is that iodine helps detox and now that I'm all detoxed we have to build up the amount of thyroid hormones to get it working again. So no iodine for now.

It also means that I have to deal more directly with the symptoms of thyroid stuff that were being masked by iodine and other things. Right now it seems like those symptoms are anemia related primarily: exhaustion, inability to maintain body-tempreature and dress for the weather, memory and foggy headedness and constant low-level abdominal cramping/pain (mostly in the morning when I haven't taken the iron in awhile).

So I'm tired. It's been better the last few days and worse today. It seems that skipping 2 doses of iron and having a big day yesterday is too many things.

She tools me off of one of the kidney support supplements (the last one!). It seems that eating much less sugar and taking the other stuff and eating lots better consistently means that my kidneys are having an easier time of it. That is very good news. We'll see how it is come bleeding time. I didn't have any nightmares last time before PMS, just one vivid dreams (about zombies).

What else?

I need to really rest more and she doesn't know for how much longer. So I am thinking I need to be home about 5 nights a week. I think if I'd really been being home 4 nights a week, that could work as well.

On an unrelated note, I discovered the joys of downloading music in iTunes for my iPod. I'm hoping this is not yet another way of wasting money. But then I haven't bought new music in a very long time (probably 4 CDs in 6 years or there a bouts).
dryadgrl: (Default)
Two recent FB posts start to sum up some of the recent changes:
My hunger used to only have two settings: not hungry and starving. With the recent shifts in medication I now have settings like "a little bit hungry," "a little bit full," and this weird brand new setting called "I think I'm going to be hungry in about half an hour." Until this week I thought when people said that they were making it up! Wow!

and

My brain just did a funny thing. I was standing in front of cake that Tia's dad made and just behind it is the fruit bowl. My belly said, "... mmmm.... apple pear...." a la Homer Simpson. Then my brain said, "Wait. What!?" But it was too late, I had already crunched into the apple-pear. Too bad cake, you lose this round!

Additionally I touched the cake and thought maybe I'd have a bite as well, but my stomach got a bit sick and I knew that the cake would make me feel bad. Just like that.

It seems like my sensitivity is returning and coming to the surface in useful ways.
My body is signaling me in useful and surprising ways.

I keep thinking that other people might have this experience regularly and wonder just how far off my body has been.

I also managed to go home from an event last night before the end of it. Just say my goodbyes and leave because I was tired and not influenced by other people, even amazing other people. It's like I'm actually home in my body for the first time.

I took Kiddo to park day yesterday and he had a great time and finally connected into the teen group and got a couple of phone numbers. It occurs to me this morning that maybe his development was contingent upon mine. Now that I'm growing and changing rapidly again, so can he. And he can do so without worrying about me because I'm all set.

This morning I was also digging my single life. I mean I have a great boyfriend, but he's far away and i have a couple of other connections, but no one else is living here and I'm not beholden to or dependent on anyone else. I can sleep sprawled out in bed and take up all the space. I don't have to listen to anyone else snore and can go to bed and get up when I want! It's pretty great actually.

And earlier this week I got in touch with some loneliness as well which was kind of awesome. I've not really felt lonely in a long time. I've been crying pretty much every day. Not big sobbing crying, just little bits here and there as things touch me.

I'll end with one last FB update from earlier this week:
Yesterday on my way to Marin I found myself singing love songs to myself and soaking up the love. Today I really enjoyed making a kale omlette with leeks and onions and garlic inspired by Ian Waisler. I feel happy, content even. Something has definitely changed!
dryadgrl: (Default)
Since I have these new limits, at least for now, I'm trying to figure out how to handle them.

I really just want to do one thing a day. For reals.

So I've stopped adding things to my calendar unless they are just that or unless they are mission critical. Like I need to see the friend who's in town from out of state and I need to go to my coven meeting. I don't need to go out to a bar with friends or to watch tv with folks I already see about once a week.

Also the priority is me.

Belly dancing, yes. Eating out unnecessarily, no (I can't control my food that way).

I want to eat at home and eat things whose ingredients I know. I want to save money and take care of myself and I want to feel good.

I'm hoping that on Friday at the doctor's I'll find out how I can have more energy.
Sleep now.
dryadgrl: (Default)
I'm tired. All the time. Less than last month, but v tired. I see my doc again this week and that's now high on the priority list. I'm ready for more energy.

I'm finding that I'm hungry regularly and I'm not falling down if I don't eat immediately. But I do need to eat. I can't wait very long.

I find that I can't tell when I'm full. I can tell when I'm not hungry. But if I stop eating when I'm not hungry, I need to eat within an hour, often a half an hour. So I have to sit for quite a while and really focus on how I feel and even then I don't always know.

My sugar cravings are nearly gone. And I'm pretty sensitive to sugar - my body just doesn't want it any more. I do sometimes eat it when I feel stressed, but not everyday and not nearly as much. I need real food and can't get away with lightweight snacks. It has to be substantial food.

I found out that more of my symptoms than I knew show up in the thyroid stuff. I've been reading Body Restoration: http://www.bodyrestorationanownersmanual.com/ and there are a couple more symptoms involved in thyroid stuff than I realized namely light sensitivity and dry itchy skin issues.

What that means to me is that, while I do have to deal with the symptoms, they are being treated in this medication. (Meaning that I do need to put lotion on my legs but this is one more reason to keep taking my medication and I don't have to look for other reasons. I can let it go.)

So there's something exciting about that.

I also felt content today. I don't feel like i need to do as much, especially in terms of volunteerism. As my adrenals get fixed I get hits of my sense of worthiness and of love and community. I'm just worrying less. Way less. And that means I'm getting more things actually done and resting more. Strange combination.

But what happens in anxiety is that I spend a lot of time trying to deal with the emotions - whether that's trying to get present or meditate or move or solve or avoid or whatever and that energy is tuck there. I can't relax because I'm stressed and I can't do anything because my focus is tied up in the issue. I'm stuck. Paralyzed.

Somehow this frees up energy so that while I am worrying sometimes, it's not nearly as intense and I can get things done. It still seems to mean that somethings aren't quite done on time (stress things) but they are getting closer and closer to deadlines.
dryadgrl: (Default)
Today is day 13 on thyroid meds.

Today I forgot to take my morning meds, went out to run errands and get life things done. And was in bed crashed out by 6:30pm because I'm exhausted.

I forget that in healing I need downtime, I must have rest, I absolutely have to eat regularly and drink lots of water. My guess is that I didn't eat enough this morning and between that and the skipping a dose of medications and I was out cold for a few hours.

I have to eat protein for breakfast. There's no longer any way around it. This morning I made smoothies with the other few pints of strawberries for the teens and had one myself. Apparently that's a bad idea. I was hungry by 10:30am when I had to leave the house. But I didn't eat again until 1pm. That means by the time I ate, I was crashed out. That could also contribute to exhaustion.

Today I didn't feel grumpy even though I didn't eat enough or often enough. I do notice a big difference between eating carbs of any kind and eating protein. My heater has said to eat meat at every meal but some how I don't believe her. But it seems to be true that if I don't get enough protein, my brain doesn't work, my mood is wonky and I'm exhausted.

I wonder if that's going to be the same forever - meat is really resource heavy. But if it's way I need, then I need it and am trying to commit to doing what works. I don't seem to buy enough meat and maybe I should figure out a way to get my head around having lots of meat and protein in the house so that I can eat it. I'm currently mostly off dairy because I've been so congested so dairy is not my protein right now. I can't do soy, at least not processed soy and other proteins (rice and beans) don't seem to be heavy enough. (That's a weird way of putting it, but carbs make me feel floaty and meat makes me feel grounded and I don't (yet?) have any other words for that.

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dryadgrl

September 2017

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