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Aug. 15th, 2013 05:46 pmFor the first time, maybe in my life, I did an exercise in a workshop with a group and we got similar results to everyone else.
Whoa. That's huge for me.
I'm feeling pretty confronted by that idea. It was pointed out that we are being trained to think a specific way and I guess that's working. But the idea of losing or sublimating my creativity is ... really uncomfortable.
I mean I guess it's possible that I'm learning a new skill of following directions or ... something. And I will acknowledge that I tried to push towards the sexy and the passion and what the client in the situation wanted, but I folded to the will of what folks wanted.
I struggle with the team player stuff. I want the group to do well put I want to call them and myself to a higher way of being and doing. And that is often resisted because it's a bit more work. The results are almost always extraordinarily better. And that's important to me. To be the best, to strive to create optimum change in a loving container. And doing what, and only what, the instructions call for is rarely enough to be extraordinary.
I think of myself that way. And I look for that in others.
My friends are amazing people. They are often at the top of what they are doing or the org we are working with or the in crowd of the social scene. Not in crowd like cheerleaders, but the doers and movers and shakers.
I feel met by that.
It's funny because in sports in elementary school I was chosen last for sports (the classic methaophor for various things) and I just knew it wasn't my thing and moved on. With some pain, yeah because rejection hurts. But I wasn't the kid who dwelt in that. I danced instead (and got trophies for that). I was smart instead. And smart in really out of the box ways.
Today in the Inner Circle when we were choosing for a group by the time I stood up, I was being asked by 3 groups to join them. That felt really good like people are acknowleding my beingness - something I need right now as I process all this stuff and grow. And that's valued, in a way. But in the small group about "marketing" we made a traditional choice of asking the person with the advertising experience to lead the group.
And I didn't speak up.
She made traditional choices that I was fine, but not excited about.
And I didn't speak up.
The exercise was to write a marketing plan for a client. The thing that lit the client on fire was the pulsating yoni idea and I think we could have the motorcycling riding and aliveness. We did not think enough about the women she wanted to reach. I'm sad about that. Because in the end, the idea I had was the only originally presented idea in the room when I spoke it, but it was such a small part of our presentation. I did speak it. But and people in the room reacted.
I think that's my lesson. That the big passion is what draws people in. And I think one of the places I play small is not saying all the things. I don't talk about magic out right because I am afraid I won't be taken seriously in the money bit. It'll turn into just another bimbo talking about the "law of attraction" that doesn't land or create actual change.
Ideas are great, but the key to coaching, the key to money is getting people into action toward love.
It makes me realize that I'm committed to creating change. Not exactly surprising, but every once in a while I doubt my... self. My ability to actually create change. It might just be that I don't see my own brilliance. So it's time to seek evidence that I create actual change.
Another noticing is that I noticing is that I threw in my idea at the last minute even though we didn't really talk about it. I mean we did.
Whoa. That's huge for me.
I'm feeling pretty confronted by that idea. It was pointed out that we are being trained to think a specific way and I guess that's working. But the idea of losing or sublimating my creativity is ... really uncomfortable.
I mean I guess it's possible that I'm learning a new skill of following directions or ... something. And I will acknowledge that I tried to push towards the sexy and the passion and what the client in the situation wanted, but I folded to the will of what folks wanted.
I struggle with the team player stuff. I want the group to do well put I want to call them and myself to a higher way of being and doing. And that is often resisted because it's a bit more work. The results are almost always extraordinarily better. And that's important to me. To be the best, to strive to create optimum change in a loving container. And doing what, and only what, the instructions call for is rarely enough to be extraordinary.
I think of myself that way. And I look for that in others.
My friends are amazing people. They are often at the top of what they are doing or the org we are working with or the in crowd of the social scene. Not in crowd like cheerleaders, but the doers and movers and shakers.
I feel met by that.
It's funny because in sports in elementary school I was chosen last for sports (the classic methaophor for various things) and I just knew it wasn't my thing and moved on. With some pain, yeah because rejection hurts. But I wasn't the kid who dwelt in that. I danced instead (and got trophies for that). I was smart instead. And smart in really out of the box ways.
Today in the Inner Circle when we were choosing for a group by the time I stood up, I was being asked by 3 groups to join them. That felt really good like people are acknowleding my beingness - something I need right now as I process all this stuff and grow. And that's valued, in a way. But in the small group about "marketing" we made a traditional choice of asking the person with the advertising experience to lead the group.
And I didn't speak up.
She made traditional choices that I was fine, but not excited about.
And I didn't speak up.
The exercise was to write a marketing plan for a client. The thing that lit the client on fire was the pulsating yoni idea and I think we could have the motorcycling riding and aliveness. We did not think enough about the women she wanted to reach. I'm sad about that. Because in the end, the idea I had was the only originally presented idea in the room when I spoke it, but it was such a small part of our presentation. I did speak it. But and people in the room reacted.
I think that's my lesson. That the big passion is what draws people in. And I think one of the places I play small is not saying all the things. I don't talk about magic out right because I am afraid I won't be taken seriously in the money bit. It'll turn into just another bimbo talking about the "law of attraction" that doesn't land or create actual change.
Ideas are great, but the key to coaching, the key to money is getting people into action toward love.
It makes me realize that I'm committed to creating change. Not exactly surprising, but every once in a while I doubt my... self. My ability to actually create change. It might just be that I don't see my own brilliance. So it's time to seek evidence that I create actual change.
Another noticing is that I noticing is that I threw in my idea at the last minute even though we didn't really talk about it. I mean we did.
I typcially choose the freak group. And I passed this time. And the group didn't win.
1. I am having the experience of being asked a lot today. I felt really left out yesterday because I had to come in late. But three of the four groups were clamoring for me before I could even get out of my seat for the group exercise today. And that's not what was happening in the room.
2. I have been asked by several folks to be in mastermind groups. I'm feeling like... my value is being seen. I don't know why I'm so surprised by that, but I am. I keep coming back to that.
Why is it that when I'm in groups I feel wanted and then I walk away and I just do what I do and don't know or get that anyone will want to do my programs or value my work ...
What the hell?
