dryadgrl: (love)
We all have ways that we sabotage our success. I know that dealing with food is on my list. The thyroid meds helped immensely helping me remember to eat because I actually get hungry.
Yesterday I did a big piece of self care.
Yesterday was my mom's birthday. She would have been 67.
Yesterday morning I found out that my friend Stacy also lost her battle to cancer.
In the morning I was having insane cravings for chocolate and things I don't usually consider food like twinkies and I could just feel a binge coming on. And when I found out about Stacy I thought it would going to get out of control.

I decided to stop the cleanse I've been on this month, stop for the whole day and consume anything I wanted to. Anything. I just knew that I wasn't going to be able to stick to the cleanse and I didn't want to berate myself as well as having a binge. And my friend Alanna reminded me that tomorrow is a new day. So I decided to give myself a break.
It turns out it wasn't as bad as I feared.
I made a really powerful choice for myself that gave me permission. I wanted nachos so I went and got them. They weren't that great. I went to Tarita's place and had a barbecue with folks.  I did have a piece of cake and I did eat turkey burger patties with bacon. And I did eat potato chips. But that's not terrible actually.
I did get intoxicated which is unusual for me. But I came home and was in bed before midnight. I'm a little hung over today which is usual for more than a little intoxicated (and why I don't normally do this thing.) I didn't eat 3 deserts or over eat.  I actually feel like I did well with food. Not ideal. But  on a day when - by all rights - I should be eating through the refrigerator, eating all the things and blowing up with self hate,  eating what everyone else ate is a fine thing to do.

We'll see how today is - grief is not a one shot deal. But I feel better about taking care of myself.
dryadgrl: (love)
I have been reading Adrenal Fatigue the 21st Century syndrome and it talks about food and what to eat. It's very similar to what my naturopath says to do. But it puts it in much more clear terms. Eating sugar and white flour robs my body of other nutrients in order to digest it.  So last night I was able to use that to not eat birthday cake!

I want to never eat it, but it's challenging to do that for a number of reasons. But when there's more clarity it's so much easier! So I could this as a win!
dryadgrl: (Default)
So it's been about a month on the crazy food plan.

Generally I'm off of: gluten, processed grains, refined sugar, alcohol, chocolate, nightshades. With a focus on vegetables at every meal, organic, unprocessed meats, fruits and veggies. I can have unrefined sugars (fruits and raw honey). I'm off of most dairy except fermented or raw dairy, but dairy doesn't seem to bother me. Grains and refined sugar are a problem.

I ate half a bun with my burger this week and found that was pretty bad. My guts were not happy with that decision - even after a month off. The result was that my body feels nearly the same eating bread as it does eating refined sugar. I get heart palpitations and anxiety-like feelings. My mood becomes less stable and I tire really easily.

I have been able to take some supplements less and have been feeling a lot better. But it's totally true that the food that I eat makes a huge difference in how I feel. Mostly I'm pretty good at eating well. But i'd like to be able to eat a more wide variety of things. *sigh* But that is what's so and I'll keep doing my best.
dryadgrl: (Default)
I've been feeling crappy and like I can't cope yesterday and today. I don't think the thyroid meds are working and I'm having crying jags. My healer wants me to get rid of everything good that I've ever eaten and I can't cope.

My feet have been swollen even though I'm doing my charcoal/light detox regimen and taking my supplements. I am out of cope for not feeling well. I'm no longer willing to do it. It's thrusting me back into depression and anxiety.

So I'm going to do a detox instead. I can't commit to never eating sugar or wheat or nightshades, dairy, chocolate, alcohol, beans, ever again. I just can't imagine it. So I'm going to do a bit of detox and just see.

This plan includes more walking than I'm used to and I'd love walking partners. I'm also hoping for friends to cook with. But this is my plan. When it's done I can re-evaluate and see if there's anything that I want to commit to longer term.

I'm going to supplement the plan with the supplements I take and some added ones that are for repairing the gut and supporting that process. I'm trusting that this is enough to begin with and that I am enough. And that this process will help with my transformation.

I am trusting that even though this is a diet, that I will not lose myself and go crazy like my mother and become a raving lunatic. That this is helpful not harmful.

I commit to stopping if I get overwhelmed and to really listening to my body for two weeks even if it's hard. I re-commit to self-care and self-love. I commit to seeing myself as brave and courageous in the face of my shame and sadness.
dryadgrl: (Default)
I trained Kiddo from very young to ask him self HALT (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired?) when he's upset or tantruming. It was pretty effective to get him and I to both slow down and figure out what was happening when he was younger.

Now there are no tantrums. He does do Sullen Teenaged Boy Sulking on occasion, which I'm sometimes even entertained by. But it is also an opportunity to ask about feelings, needs and choices.

Food, and specificallys tabling blood sugar does a world of good for moods. Last night I was feeling sadness and I had a moment of wanting to stop on my way home and buy food. I stopped myself because my head said, "Hey, wait, this is emotional eating." And my tummy said, "It's true, we're not hungry." So I smiled happily to myself, mood lifted slightly and drove home.

Well 40 minutes later as I approached home, I was hungry and did stop for food and it also lifted my mood.

What I realized is that it's a fine line between emotional eating to stuff emotions, and making sure to eat enough so that emotions aren't exasperated by blood sugar drops. Which brought me round to remembering that all this stuff that I'm going through has a biological reason. My body is trying to keep me alive.

If I am not in touch with my hunger, and I don't know if I'm hungry because that bit of my body doesn't work, it's a reasonable and possibly useful reaction to eat when there are big emotions. It's a signal that something is wrong. It does turn into food problems eventually because it's using poor signaling as a substitute for self care. But the underlying thing my biology is trying to solve, "Keep her from dying" can be temporarily solved by making sure that I eat food if hunger things aren't working but I'm receiving other potential food-related signals.

Putting this together last night gave me space to forgive myself for emotional eating. And if you'e never struggled with that you might not know that the other half of that cycle is guilt when I realize that I've eaten too much or the wrong thing and feel like I "should" or want to be doing it some other way but couldn't do it.

The truth is that this is a biological issue and I'm not bad or wrong or horrible. And forgiving myself for having made mistakes in the past means that I can be more present in the future. I can eat what I need when I need it and not worry about what might happen. Worrying just leads to guilt cycles.

I wish I could say that I did this all through reading some book and it's the solution to emotional eating for everyone, for ever. But this has been resolved by doing a lot of talking and reading and research and also taking supplements and seeing my doctor every couple/fews weeks.

I feel like the OA people and the people who say, "fat is bad!!!!!!" need to get the message about biology. Addictive behavior is a brain chemical issue. Weird eating things are complex chemical and biological issues. It's also not at all clear that people are even all designed to be a certain size to begin with. (And it's clear that I'm still struggling with mainstream correlations of health and wellness and body size even with the available research. I hate the my body is a political battle ground.)

For me, the biology piece feels a lot more solvable than just, "Use you're willpower or you're a bad person." We know willpower is largely a myth. We know that more than 90% of diets fail. We know medically that dieting is not a solution. But since I've been able to change so many other things in my life sometimes it feels like I "should" be able to just do it. Re-framing my success is very helpful. Remembering integrated systems need to be supported together and not separately as the allopaths would try to do.

However, again and again I find that things change as I heal one body thing or another, one piece at a time, over time. My healer told me that this path is a long one and I didn't realize just how long it would be when I made my commitment to healing nearly 7 years ago.

So right now it's thyroid and thymus with lots of support for absorption, digestion and actually taking the nutrients that my body is not making itself. Now that I am absorbing those nutrients, it's a game changer. Even a few days off my supplements and in sadness with a relationship thing, I'm still fine. I am having emotions, but I get how people can get up every day and keep moving. I still don't think it's healthy to keep moving without acknowledgement of what's so, but I see it's possible.

I hesitate to say these things out loud because it sometimes sounds so dire. It was dire and I am still vigilant about it, possibly more than necessary, I really don't know. But it's great to be able to look back and see how far I've come and how the healing work I have done has made such a huge difference in my life.
dryadgrl: (Default)
So I have to eat lots of protein and lots of veggies. I've been totally craving chard! I have pretty much no craving for ice-cream and sweets and little tolerance for it. It just doesn't make me feel good.

I need a lot more water than I was drinking before and it's not optional.

I have to get enough sleep or my body falls asleep doing other things (not driving fortunately, but reading or watching teeve or resting or meditating).

A friend recently said it's like I'm a very chill low-key version of myself. What she imagines I'm like when I'm stoned.

I like the idea of being pretty chill about the world. It does sometimes feel like being on a light sedative.

I think that's because my adrenals are calmed down and things like serotonin and DLPA is way up because my body is actually absorbing the meds. So I am actually more chill. That's happening because my metabolism is finally starting to work! woo-fucking-hoo!
dryadgrl: (Default)
Ok so I'm taking my medication every day and I'm even managing to get in some of the ones that I am supposed to take between meals.

I'm sleeping a lot again. I think it's pretty easy to tip this upside down if I'm not careful. And by this I mean my life and energy are totally dependent on getting enough of the right food and getting enough rest and exercise. So I'm averaging about 12-15 hours a sleep a day again if I don't sleep at least 10 on my own consistently.

But here a more interesting thing: I have to deal with the emotions and restlessness that come up when I'm not eating.

What I mean is that I'm craving food less and really checking in before I eat anything. I've tried to do this for years with only marginal success. It's clear to me now that this problem is biological. I didn't have the signals necessary to tell me what to do and thus I could eat when I was starving or in upset with some consequences, but mostly I haven't know what the right thing to do is.

Now I stop when I'm not hungry and food is actually unappealing unless I'm hungry. So right now I'm bored and anxious because I have things to do that I haven't done, but I really don't want to do them. I feel like I need a day off and deserve a day to myself and so I'm in resistance to doing these chores (namely cleaning my room and doing the dishes). I've also told my son to empty the dishwasher and I don't want to empty it for him - again.

He's pretty good at chores if I tell him what to do and when to do it by and sometimes provide incentive if it's extraordinary (like laundry before laundry day or if i"m traveling and he's not). In the past I would just grab some chocolate, or a bite of something and the effect was that it would shove the emotion down for a time.

Sometimes I would just eat too much and then be exhausted (because I crashed my blood sugar) or too full to move. But it also seemed out of my control. I wouldn't realize that I was doing it until it was too late or done. And because of that I had a lot of shame about it.

But as it's changed/changing, I'm realizing that this is not about me - as in not something I can actually control with emotions or ideas or "will power." And it doesn't make me a bad person. Willpower is an idea that dieters talk about a lot an is pretty much entirely a myth as far as I can tell.

Most diests fail (over 90% is the statistic) and so all of the chatter around that is just crap. Additionally if you want to get something done you must have goals, feedback and support or most of those don't happen (though they are more likely to happen if you write them down). So again, in my head I know that will power is crap, but it's so ingrained into culture and my subconscious that it has been a whip that I use to beat myself with for a long time.

I knew about it not making me a bad person in theory. But it felt terrible (and I assume that it will happen again from time to time when I go off or forget meds and so on, I can hope it won't, but I've not suddenly become perfect). It feel physically terrible to eat too much and it feels worse when you realize that you're eating because you're unhappy or depressed and feels worse yet when you realize it halfway through and can't stop.

And by can't stop I mean I've watched myself from the outside and thought things like, "I'm not really hungry, I don't know why I'm doing this." Or "I don't really need this." Or thought nothing in the moment at all about the food just gave in to the upset and overwhelm and found myself eating food or sick later. About a year ago or so I had some thoughts that were, "If I do this I'll have the space I need to rest." And that lead to this stuff lessening.

It was at it's worst when I was badly depressed a few years ago, but only slowed as I have gotten better - until the last few weeks. Now my body's reacting to sugary foods when I touch them or when I look at them and I'm able to process that response and do something else. Today it's started (I don't know if it's true that this is the beginning) to help me realize how I am feeling when I'm not hungry or eating.

It's really uncomfortable to talk about this. Most of the time I've felt like I've done my best to eat well, learn about foods and focus on eating well. But I have been really unsuccessful in some ways.

Oddly knowing that it's not my fault, that it's the hypothyroidism and not something wrong with my humanity, has given me great strength to work at this problem and to keep focused on what I can do. I'm sure it's the drugs on that count too and the work I've done on coming out of depression and anxiety in other ways. One system effects all the other ones and i couldn't be doing this work if I hadn't done that work. These things build on each other.

Ok, food.

The other day I made bacon and leeks and onions in a stir fry and couldn't eat it. Yesterday, I had smoked salmon and couldn't finish it - I think that I probably can't really eat smoked things, at least for a while. I don't know why, but that's the connection my brain made and I'm finding that these intuitive connections are accurate. I never liked bell peppers and it turns out that I'm allergic to them for example. But I haven't been trusting my body about that sort of thing.

Also I seem to need to eat the way that I was eating while on the yeast-free diet. My body is craving meat and vegetables, lots of veggies. But cooked, not raw, with some exceptions (like cucumbers, I seem to be craving raw cucumbers a lot lately).
dryadgrl: (Default)
Saturday will be day 28.

Today was really hard. I woke up totally irritated, which is bad. In fact the last 24 (until about 2 hours ago) I was so irritated that I could hardly be in the same rooms as anyone. Everything was super uncomfortable.

Monday marked an upswing in energy, but a big downturn in mood. I know that some of this is PMS (at least in theory). I didn't have night mares, for the first month in at least 6 months. Normally the week before my period is all about nightmares and exhaustion and sometimes things like cramping, but this level of moodiness hasn't happened in quite along time.

In fact I haven't worked at all in a month. This week I couldn't work, but most of the last month I haven't been able to work. I've been sleeping 10-14 hours a day (about 9 at night and about 2-5 durning the day. It doesn't leave much time for anything else.

The house is a disaster. Big disaster because even though I'm home, I need to make food and that means it's basically my only chore. My house cleaner hasn't come in a month and I'm just really under it.

In the last couple of hours it's started to shift. I was talking to the boyfriend tonight and I realized that I need to be tracking my food again, much more closely. I think part of the moodiness is my intense sensitivity to things like sugar and wheat. Especially sugar. I'm having less problems when I'm skipping meals - less light-headedness, less irritability over all with that symptom.

This week the irritability has been in everything all the time, so I can't attribute it to food.


Except that today I had a choclatine for lunch and had a chocolate egg before breakfast (I couldn't get real food cooked fast enough to satisfy the hunger, I know it was a bad move). And that seems to have crashed d=out my whole fucking day.

I put chicken soup on to simmer when I left the house (from the chicken I made day before yesterday) and so tonight I had chicken soup with lots of roasted veggies. Within an hour of that I felt better. I could feel the change happening.

I think what's happening is that my body is actually working and responding to what I put in it. But that hasn't been true in so long that I just don't know how to eat. It just hasn't matter that much. The depression was huge and even as it diminished that anxiety was so huge that my food choices have felt like they sometimes have an effect, but mostly not.

If it's true that my mood, energy and so on are really being effected by this change, for reals, I'm totally up for eating better. I think I could probably never eat sugar again if I knew for sure that I wouldn't be moody, depressed, or anxious. But when it feels like it makes no different, why bother? Or if it even only makes a small difference, why give up the comfort?

I know why, but in the throes of depression it doesn't seem worth it. (On the other hand, I seem to have been buying chocolate at the same rate, but not eating much of it so that now there are 8 bars of chocolate in the cupboard, so the actual amount of chocolate/sugar intake is relatively small comparatively.)

I think the next conversation is with my kid about keeping stuff, even stuff for him, out of the house so that I don't have to deal because I'm not dealing. Comfort chicken soup is a lot easier on my body than comfort chocolate.

I didn't realize what a huge transition this would be, to be totally honest. We've done a lot of work on thyroid stuff. I have been taking iodine for 2 years, I've been taking nutrients and minerals and adrenal stuff and fish oil and and and. But we haven't been treating it with thyroid hormones until now. And it's totally re-vamping the food stuff.

I wish I'd had the courage to force the medical doctors to give me meds some how years ago. It really does suck that this has taken so long. It feels so unnecessary.
dryadgrl: (Default)
Today is day 13 on thyroid meds.

Today I forgot to take my morning meds, went out to run errands and get life things done. And was in bed crashed out by 6:30pm because I'm exhausted.

I forget that in healing I need downtime, I must have rest, I absolutely have to eat regularly and drink lots of water. My guess is that I didn't eat enough this morning and between that and the skipping a dose of medications and I was out cold for a few hours.

I have to eat protein for breakfast. There's no longer any way around it. This morning I made smoothies with the other few pints of strawberries for the teens and had one myself. Apparently that's a bad idea. I was hungry by 10:30am when I had to leave the house. But I didn't eat again until 1pm. That means by the time I ate, I was crashed out. That could also contribute to exhaustion.

Today I didn't feel grumpy even though I didn't eat enough or often enough. I do notice a big difference between eating carbs of any kind and eating protein. My heater has said to eat meat at every meal but some how I don't believe her. But it seems to be true that if I don't get enough protein, my brain doesn't work, my mood is wonky and I'm exhausted.

I wonder if that's going to be the same forever - meat is really resource heavy. But if it's way I need, then I need it and am trying to commit to doing what works. I don't seem to buy enough meat and maybe I should figure out a way to get my head around having lots of meat and protein in the house so that I can eat it. I'm currently mostly off dairy because I've been so congested so dairy is not my protein right now. I can't do soy, at least not processed soy and other proteins (rice and beans) don't seem to be heavy enough. (That's a weird way of putting it, but carbs make me feel floaty and meat makes me feel grounded and I don't (yet?) have any other words for that.
dryadgrl: (Default)
So today is about 11 days since I started taking thyroid meds.

Last week was incredibly stressful and I ended up sick -again- on Friday and spend most of the weekend recovering. I still have that terrible hacking cough, but at least I'm not stuck in bed.

Over the last 5 years my relationship to food has been slowly changing. At it's worst I was only starving or stuffed. My body didn't register many other sensations about food. My healer says that the one leads to the other and at some point told me to focus on what's good for me and just to listen the best that I could (and to not worry so much about it)!

One of the things that I learned in my short stint in OA was: it's none of my business what size my body is and that I'm best served focusing on eating well and taking good care.

Anyway, what I've noticed is that 2 years ago I started trying to eat on more of a schedule and so I was starving twice a day, not just once. And that when that happened, I needed to eat Right Now! I ate too much because I was responding to the nausea and light headedness of not eating often enough. When I got to this place, the only thing I could eat was either chocolate milk or yogurt. Anything else would make me sick.

My digestion and absorption process was pretty completely broken.

About 7 months ago (August 2011) I started to get hungry more times a day without being totally starving all the time. But I was still starving often and still eating too much in response to starving. I was eating most of a chocolate bar every day. JM (my healer) told me a long time back now that chocolate helps balance blood sugar and while it would be good to not eat so much of it, that it was doing a job and that if my body said that I needed it, to eat it. (Imagine seeing a doctor who's supportive of chocolate!) In fact she supports me in eating what my body is craving - and then telling her about it so that we can test for nutrient deficiencies and imbalances.

In this way I've felt like my healer is in alignment with my spiritual path of deep listening to people and the earth's body as a way of coming into balance.

Sometimes I would get "just hungry" instead of starving and I would eat a little and then that feeling would go away so I often wouldn't eat nearly enough. And of course not eating enough leads to those feelings of starvation, but I couldn't see that at the time. Part of not seeing it was that I was comparing the way other people were eating (in any given 1-off meal) with how I was eating because I had no real internal monitor. In short, my body hasn't been giving me accurate signals and so there was nothing to hear. The last few months the chocolate habit has dipped from a full bar to often just a few pieces.

Also when I got an adjustment or saw my healer, I'd become really hungry - the work she was doing on my body activated all those systems and so I'd temporarily be regular-hungry. But invariable, somewhere around my period, it would just go away. And nothing I could do on my own would bring it back.

This week I haven't been starving at all. I have been hungry and needing to eat every few hours. And sometimes if I don't eat enough, I'm still hungry! This morning I ate leftovers from yesterday's breakfast and about half an hour later I was hungry! And so I ate again!

Both of those are major triumphs. The fact that my brain and body worked together at signaling and that I responded to that signal with food - yay! Not just that but that the signaling is managing to prioritize over doing other things like working or phone calling or whatever. I used to put off food while doing other mind things until the familiar super-hunger came and made me sick.

In some ways this feels so weird - both that I'm just not sure what "normal" eating looks like and that I have essentially no practice at doing that. I grew up in a household where my mom constantly dieted so food was either forbidden, secretive, or binging (often all three). And where I swore I'd never diet. In my teens my heavy exercise routine meant that I ate constantly to be able to dance and swim so much. There were 4 years between the end of swimming and getting pregnant and that's when this stuff started. That was 15 years ago. So it's been at least that long since I even had a shot at "normal" eating.

So I feel very new and unskilled at food. I don't know how much to buy for consistently making real meals at home, I don't know how often to expect to eat, I don't know how to plan my day around making sure that I get enough food and I've no idea if or how this will change. But unlike last year when I felt despondent about the possibility of having to eat all the damn time, it's happening with much less effort. Meaning: it's happening.

I have found that healing is like that. It happens in waves and it often has to happen a bit at a time. I could see that I needed to change food things, but I couldn't do it. And then sometimes I could eat more regularly, but it didn't stick (no consistently signals) and now it feels like it's a more solid change. That probably means there will be some backsliding, especially if I fail to take meds which I go through cycles of not being able to do. Those cycles get better and easier consistently, but they haven't stopped and I don't expect to ever be perfect. My guess is that it also means that I'm healing. That my body will eventually be more able to do this thing. And that's what we want!

What I do know is that I feel better. Eating balances my blood sugar and makes my moods more stable. Whatever is in what I'm taking is allowing my brain-body connection to work. Yay!
dryadgrl: (Default)
So in this last round of "life events" I think I've found a cure for my anxiety.


Or rather nutrients. It sounds strange to me in no small part because I've struggled with food and my body. But my healer putting me on eating every 2 hours in a very strict way, and being clear about what I cannot eat has made a huge difference in my anxiety. As far as I can tell, her food regimen has cured my chronic, long standing, on-going, free form anxiety.

When my healer told me that my anxiety was caused by my cells not getting enough nutrients, I thought she was full of crap. But only for a minute because she's an awesome healer. And now I know, for certain, that she's right. Blood sugar issues cause brain chemicals to change and mood to change. We know that.

But still we insist on giving people drugs for something that cannot be cured or fixed with drugs.

Reduced thyroid function means that my body doesn't metabolize food well. Or sometimes at all, depending on the food. This is what's lead to mood disorder issues for me - namely severe depression and anxiety. My refusal to go on psychoactives has meant that I have to focus on finding other things that work. It's a slow process and mostly what you see on this blog is the down side. I come here to write when I need to release and vent. Most of my life is not release and vent. And I've use this blog less and less over time as I am more and more well.

What I'm eating is not "the way Americans eat" and therefore people think it's not an easy plan - and this is what I think stops people mentally and emotionally more than actually - but it's working. It's working because a lot of folks around me are trying to be healthy, it's working because I'm not letting anyone stop me and it works because I've told my friends that I eat weird things and so we talk about it instead of me hiding in a corner and pretending all is well.

How do I know it works? Because if I eat something outside of the parameters (namely sugar) the next day I feel like shit. When I don't, I feel well. That's it. That's the test. It's not magic, it's just about how I feel day-to-day. I mean isn't that the real test of wellness?

So what am I doing?

No gluten (no wheat, soy, contaminated grains like oatmeal and barley). In general no processed carbs (no bread, even gluten free, no packaged foods), no sugar (no refined sugar and in general no added sugars to food). And then there's the list I don't eat anyway: alcohol and coffee.

In truth I'm eating all of these things sometimes. And by that I mean if I'm out and I want to try the bread, I do. Not a lot, but it's ok for me to eat anything I feel really called to eat as long as I'm checking in with my body.

She says to eat lots of good fats like avocado, coconut, nuts, fish, and eggs. Do NOT cook with olive oil as it goes rancid when cooked - cook with coconut or grapeseed oil. The right fats are critical for cell wall function and protein for me seems to come after that. I eat some protein at every small meal (that doesn't mean meat).

She says to focus on nutrient rich, cooked foods with a little bit of raw every day (a little bit is like a sprig of parsley). Eat "super foods" like seaweed, sprialena, bee pollen, dulse flakes, flax seeds (raw and/or ground - cooking them destroys the oils) and other nuts and seeds - soaked and dried to get rid of the phytates. And organ meats. Lots of veggies, but no goitegens (no things that reduce the thyroid function including cruciferous veggies like broccoli, brussel sprouts, etc). Oh and including fermented things like yogurt, sourkraut, kim chee for digestive support. Lots and lots of veggies and some fruits - namely berries and melons.

Flax seeds reduce inflammation if eaten raw (ground in a smoothie or sprinkled in or on something) and are a great source of good fats.

Even in taking food based supplements these are the necessary changes. Food is medicine. At the very least if I'm taking all these supplements, the food I'm eating needs to be neutral. Sugar causes inflammation. Wheat causes inflammation. I'm finding that even gluten free breads cause inflammation for me. So I stopped eating them.

Eating every two hours has been huge. If I eat every 2 hours my body is more able to take in the nutrients that I am getting. And doing that changed and drastically reduced what I was eating - strange. I don't care as long as my mood is even and I don't et spikes or crashes.

I eat mexican food a fair amount, I make a lot of soups with meat and tons of veggies. I eat bone broths. I'm doing smoothies. I'm drinking MediClear Plus (a medical food - not a food substitute) in addition to food. My body need nutrients.

Part of the reason I'm writing this is because I really want some of the people in my community to take on being well and eating well and learning about food and healing. It also feels hopeless to me because I fear that until they have the experience of knowing they can be well and taking it on, I don't know if they can. It's like a hidden public secret all this food stuff. People know they should, but don't. And it's critical to our lives and health that we take on our own healing.

I have a knot in my belly thinking about this - how much good it can do and how much fear I have that we won't do it on a bigger scale.


dryadgrl: (Default)

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