EnCountering shame
Apr. 12th, 2012 11:00 amI had a really difficult day yesterday.
So this morning I started right in with inspiration including Brene Brown's TED talk. The second one where she talks about being daring.
I feel kinda of caught these days between staying safe and not wanting to huge stresses from when I was so totally struggling with money and emotional health and putting myself out there and trying again.
I want to go to grad school. I want my business to succeed. I want to teach what I've been learning.
But I'm sitting here in my apartment waiting. But I don't know what for. I'm sad, tired overwhelmed when I'm down and when I"m up I'm happy about relationships and connections, but I'm not doing things that fulfill me in my work and that's causing it to lag.
But i'm afraid. I'm afraid my work with money won't be valued because I don't make a million dollars and I'm afraid that my work in HAI won't be valued until I'm perfect and I'm afraid.... that people and communities that I've disconnected from won't talk to me again because of some bad thing I did when I was sick.
So this morning I started right in with inspiration including Brene Brown's TED talk. The second one where she talks about being daring.
I feel kinda of caught these days between staying safe and not wanting to huge stresses from when I was so totally struggling with money and emotional health and putting myself out there and trying again.
I want to go to grad school. I want my business to succeed. I want to teach what I've been learning.
But I'm sitting here in my apartment waiting. But I don't know what for. I'm sad, tired overwhelmed when I'm down and when I"m up I'm happy about relationships and connections, but I'm not doing things that fulfill me in my work and that's causing it to lag.
But i'm afraid. I'm afraid my work with money won't be valued because I don't make a million dollars and I'm afraid that my work in HAI won't be valued until I'm perfect and I'm afraid.... that people and communities that I've disconnected from won't talk to me again because of some bad thing I did when I was sick.