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dryadgrlFear n. an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat
Despair is a feeling that I identify as a combination of sadness and helplessness
Fear I've learned is related to kidney function. When my kidneys aren't functioning at 100%, I'm often afraid. It's also what leads to the nightmares that I sometimes have before my period.
I don't know what causes despair. But I need to know; I'm ready to know.
The last week or so I get a whiff of despair, lean into it a bit (mostly by taking a moment to feel it) and then move on from it. I have struggle for years with overwhelming despair. (Some people seem to call it depression, but depression takes so many forms, that I wanted to be much more specific. Depression for me can also be apathy or even callousness.)
I guess it's the healing that's happening in my body that I can look at the despair right now and not fall entirely into it. It used to be that despair was a trap. I would fall into it and not be able to get out for days or week or months.
About every other day or so I've been having these moments of looking right into the face of despair and letting it go.
For years my practice has been to feel my emotions, just feel them. At first I was so totally overwhelmed I could almost not move. Eventually I could feel them and be under for only weeks or days, then hours and now we're down a to a few minutes.
I don't know if it's the practice of feeling all there is to feel or the physical healing or some combination (my current guess is the last). But I still want more information about what system is being effected or healed and how to continue to support it.
Because I found a way to be really honest and present, authentic and real and not ever feel really helpless and in despair ever again, I'd be totally ok with that.
Despair is a feeling that I identify as a combination of sadness and helplessness
Fear I've learned is related to kidney function. When my kidneys aren't functioning at 100%, I'm often afraid. It's also what leads to the nightmares that I sometimes have before my period.
I don't know what causes despair. But I need to know; I'm ready to know.
The last week or so I get a whiff of despair, lean into it a bit (mostly by taking a moment to feel it) and then move on from it. I have struggle for years with overwhelming despair. (Some people seem to call it depression, but depression takes so many forms, that I wanted to be much more specific. Depression for me can also be apathy or even callousness.)
I guess it's the healing that's happening in my body that I can look at the despair right now and not fall entirely into it. It used to be that despair was a trap. I would fall into it and not be able to get out for days or week or months.
About every other day or so I've been having these moments of looking right into the face of despair and letting it go.
For years my practice has been to feel my emotions, just feel them. At first I was so totally overwhelmed I could almost not move. Eventually I could feel them and be under for only weeks or days, then hours and now we're down a to a few minutes.
I don't know if it's the practice of feeling all there is to feel or the physical healing or some combination (my current guess is the last). But I still want more information about what system is being effected or healed and how to continue to support it.
Because I found a way to be really honest and present, authentic and real and not ever feel really helpless and in despair ever again, I'd be totally ok with that.
