The Orgasm Gap

<a href="http://www.alternet.org/sex-amp-relationships/orgasm-gap-real-reason-women-get-less-often-men-and-how-fix-it?page=0%2C2&paging=off">The Orgasm Gap</a> I hadn't thought about this, but once I did it makes a lot of sense.

I wrote this in response to a parenting list.
My son is 15 and he's not really dating yet. But he's super conscious of gender and he's just all round a nice kid. He gets things other kids don't get about gender, queerness and so on because he's spent time with me and I talk about this stuff (and I'm queer and do things like date people of all genders openly). It seems in some ways less important to talk to him about it as it is to talk about it in front of him and be in integrity about my stuff.

That seems to lead him to talk to me when he's ready. I send him links in email for him to read and have lots of books around and stuff. And then I do what I do. I don't have secrets, but I do have privacy. I let him know who I'm having sex with and, when he asks, how my relationships are. I try not to be shy about talking about what's important to me in front of him.

Recently I was meeting with folks about doing an unconference on open/all relationships and potentially making it all ages. I insisted on a 13-18 path and talked about young people really needing space to talk to each other and adults about this stuff in an open, honest, way. People engaged in a lively discussion and forgot my son was even there until he spoke up. Then some were a little awkward, but my kid got a lot out of it. He said he thinks what I'm proposing is important and valuable and that he would be good with having conversations with teens as well as adults which surprised me a little (he's an introvert, and I'm not).

But it made it clear to me that the work I've been doing is important. Even if he doesn't always want to talk to me, he does listen and my attitudes seem to be carrying over to his actual behavior which I'm thrilled by.